Let’s start with the obvious: being ghosted sucks.
Whether it’s a hiring manager who vanishes after three rounds of interviews or someone you’ve been dating who suddenly drops off the face of the Earth, ghosting can leave you feeling confused, hurt, and a little bit humiliated. The silence is deafening. You replay the last message you sent. You second-guess yourself. You wonder what you did wrong.
Here’s the truth: it’s not you.
Alright, maybe it is a little. But even if you did or said something that didn’t land well, you still deserve basic decency — a reply, a no, a “this isn’t working out.” Ghosting is about their inability to communicate, not your worthiness as a human being.
So let’s break this down. Let’s talk about how to get over being ghosted, both professionally and personally. And I’ll be honest with you every step of the way.
What Is Ghosting, Really?
Ghosting is when someone abruptly cuts off communication with no explanation. No closure. No response. They stop replying to messages, stop answering calls, and disappear.
This happens in:
- Dating: You’ve been texting or going out for a while, then suddenly… nothing.
- Friendships: A close friend gradually (or suddenly) stops responding.
- Hiring: After an interview or even a job offer, the company just goes dark.
- Business: A client stops replying mid-project or never pays the final invoice.
If this sounds familiar, you’re not alone. A study by Indeed found that 77% of job seekers have been ghosted by employers, and another survey found that over 25% of people have been ghosted by someone they were dating.
But stats don’t help when your chest tightens from silence.
Why Ghosting Hurts So Much
Ghosting taps into something primal. We crave closure.
When someone suddenly disappears, your brain tries to fill in the blanks. It becomes a loop:
- “What did I say wrong?”
- “Were they just playing me the whole time?”
- “Did I miss some red flag?”
- “Am I not good enough?”
This cognitive dissonance — the disconnect between what you thought was happening and the cold reality — can be emotionally brutal. It can trigger feelings of rejection, abandonment, and even shame.
And if you’ve got a history of abandonment or trauma, it can reopen old wounds fast.
How to Get Over It (Without Losing Your Mind)
Here’s the meat of it. How do you actually move on?
1. Acknowledge It Happened
Don’t brush it off. Don’t make excuses for them. Don’t gaslight yourself.
Say it out loud: “I was ghosted.”
There. That happened. It sucks. It’s not fair. But it happened.
The first step is always acknowledgment.
2. Do Not Chase
When someone ghosts you, the instinct is to follow up. Again. And again. Maybe they didn’t see it. Maybe they forgot. Maybe they were busy.
Stop.
You sent your message. They saw it. If they wanted to reply, they would have. Give them the dignity of their silence. And give yourself the dignity of not begging for crumbs.
3. Feel the Feels
You’re allowed to be hurt. You’re allowed to be angry. You might feel humiliated. Let yourself feel all of it.
But here’s the key: set a time limit.
Wallow for 24 hours. Eat ice cream. Vent to a friend. Write an angry note (don’t send it). And then? Step forward. Even a small step counts.
4. Reframe the Narrative
This one helped me personally: ghosting is a favor.
If someone can’t be bothered to send a two-line message to close the loop, they’ve shown you everything you need to know about them. They don’t respect you. They don’t have empathy. And they’re not reliable.
Do you want someone like that in your life or your workplace?
Didn’t think so.
5. Focus on Self-Respect, Not Ego
It’s easy to confuse bruised ego with broken heart.
Ask yourself: Was I really into them, or was I just enjoying the attention? Was I invested in this company, or did I just want the validation?
It’s not shallow to want to be wanted. But don’t let your need for affirmation trick you into chasing people who don’t want you back.
6. Take Inventory
After you’ve cooled off, take some time to review the interaction.
- Did they give signs they weren’t serious?
- Were there red flags you ignored?
- Did you ignore your gut?
This isn’t about blaming yourself. It’s about learning. Every experience — even the crappy ones — teaches you something.
7. Block, Mute, Delete (if needed)
Out of sight, out of mind. If seeing their profile or “active now” status makes your stomach twist, remove the temptation.
It’s not petty. It’s protection.
Same with jobs. If a company ghosted you after three interviews, cross them off your list. You deserve a workplace that values communication.
8. Reconnect with Your Circle
Ghosting can make you feel small and disposable. Combat that by reconnecting with people who do see you.
Friends. Family. Colleagues. Your group chat. Real connection grounds you.
When It Happens Professionally
Being ghosted by a potential employer hits different. You did your prep. You crushed the interview. You sent the thank-you email. Then… silence.
This isn’t just emotional. It’s financial. Career-based. Your time matters.
What to do:
- Follow up once, max twice, spaced a week apart.
- After that, move on.
- Track the company and recruiter in a spreadsheet. (Did they ghost? Blacklist.)
And if you’re a freelancer on Fiverr or somewhere else and get ghosted by a client mid-project? Set clear terms next time. Always take a deposit. Communicate via platform tools so you have a record.
When It Happens in Dating or Friendships
This one can knock the wind out of you.
If you were emotionally invested, the ghosting can feel like a sudden death. There’s no closure, no funeral, just a void.
What to do:
- Journal it out. Get the thoughts out of your head.
- Talk to someone who won’t just say “forget them.”
- Avoid idealizing the person. Remember the full picture.
Remember: a person who ghosts is telling you they’re not emotionally available. Believe them.
It’s Not Rejection, It’s Redirection
Yeah, yeah. I know. Sounds cheesy. But it’s true.
Being ghosted is the universe pulling someone out of your path so you don’t waste your time. They were never going to give you what you needed. They were never going to show up fully.
When you stop trying to make sense of the ghosting and start focusing on your next move, you get your power back.
Because here’s the part that matters most:
You didn’t lose anything. They did.
Quick Checklist for Getting Over It
| Step | Action |
|---|---|
| 1 | Acknowledge you were ghosted |
| 2 | Don’t chase or send follow-ups |
| 3 | Let yourself feel the hurt, then set a time limit |
| 4 | Reframe it as a blessing in disguise |
| 5 | Focus on your self-respect |
| 6 | Reflect on what you’ve learned |
| 7 | Block/mute/delete if it helps you move on |
| 8 | Reconnect with people who value you |
Resources to Help You Heal
Final Thought
You will not always get closure from others. But you can always give it to yourself.
Ghosting isn’t about you. It’s about them. And if someone doesn’t have the backbone to say “no thanks,” then they don’t deserve the front row in your life.
So feel it. Then get up. And move on.
You’ve got better people to meet.
