Diary of a Tired CTO

Estimated reading time: 1 mins

Dear Diary

I did the following things this month.

Met fourteen different IT vendors who gave an impressive high impact presentation on how their products and services can guarantee cost effective, cutting edge, optimized, and seamless, business value in tune with our strategic goals.

Rejected three vendors as their presentations were not in line with strategic customer oriented initiatives to suit next generation business clients.

Had a detailed discussion (for the 636th time) with all business stakeholders on how our latest strategic initiatives can totally align IT to suit business needs and deliver increasing business value with constant innovation in our journey to the Promised Land.

Attended sixteen best practice security seminars on how to accurately protect my company data from viruses, spyware, hackers, worms, phishers, trojans, malware, spammers, data center disasters, database errors, hurricanes, tornadoes, floods, data corruption, bomb attacks, snipers, power failures, wars, alien attacks, corporate frauds, information theft, lawsuits, bird flu, mad cow disease, political turmoil, human mistakes, computer errors, and a few other threats.

Some day I must organize all my 13945 best practice white papers by industry experts on how exactly to align my IT department to cut across traditional business lines, reduce TCO and elegantly simplify our business processes.

Renamed my slave sized technical support department to Strategic Enterprise Customer Orientation Services in order to strengthen brand equity, increase shareholder value, and improve customer satisfaction to progress towards a coherent service oriented organization.

Sent an umpteenth reminder to my team members to clearly define, document, organize and prepare accurate processes of their jobs and tasks to make it easy for outsourcing. Wonder why my team is not co-operating even when I am communicating so well.

Declined an invite to fifteen seminars on the strategic benefits of early adoption of new emerging technologies. Thought I would wait till they fully emerge from wherever they are emerging.

Added one new business jargon sentence “Key transition leader and catalyst for enhancing customer centric business landscapes” to make my resume look good.

Must stop pulling my hair for every network glitch and computer error. Wife and kids not happy with balding, short-tempered daddy.

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