Comments on: 5 Reasons Why Your Boss Hates You

By: Simon

Simon — Wed, 09 May 2012 18:36:40 +0000

@Mickey mouse – their behavior is routed very much in fear. Possibly fear of many things…

1) Fear that a younger female will prove to be as good, or better
2) Fear of being permanently passed over
3) Fear of an outsider
4) Fear of breaking up a clique/friendship circle
5) Fear of change
6) Fear of being cast on the heap
7) Fear of their own incompetencies/inadequacies

All these things (and others) are about perception. If these guys took a different approach and looked at this as an opportunity to lead and influence, then things would be a whole lot different. Instead, they’re probably creating a future that resembles their fears.

My advice? Hang in there. Keep notes on everything that happens. Don’t let them take away your power. Grow a thick-skin. Don’t EVER play their games. You may face bozos like this in the future, and although its not fair or right, its likely to happen. So learn how to be invicible from it.

By: Mickey mouse

Mickey mouse — Sat, 05 May 2012 18:59:01 +0000

Hiya, thank you for your tips. I have just been moved to another office in my job, for two reasons. 1. To shadow the manager and 2. To take over as manager. Unfortunately it’s all in the open why I am there. Which has resulted in the manager has had his nose put out of joint and is not happy especially as it’s a male orientated environment and I’ll be the first female manager, plus I’m approximately 12 years junior to him and my peers at that level. The second male who will be 50 this year has put in a formal complaint against the decision as he feels it should’ve been him…….. They are behaving like kids who gave not got their way. It’s absolutely shocking. I’m left to sit silent and take their personal assassination against me. I just hope that I reign supreme after this is all sorted out……

By: Simon

Simon — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 12:32:49 +0000

Hi Ulkauma – thanks for your comment. This is a tough predicament – when there seems little urgency to deal with a problem important to you. In my own experience, this can be extremely frustrating and can cause a lot of rage!

How did you approach people to discuss your work issues? If you didn’t do so, coming at it from the angle of ‘potential solutions’ might work. People don’t like to talk about other people’s problems (unless it’s gossip) as much as they do solutions. Do you know what you would do to overcome these work issues? Have you shared them?

Also, one tactic I use is to get other people to suggest a date and time. This puts the onus on them to check if they’re available and can commit.

And we’re all human. We respond to emotion. Just wondering if you have shared your feelings about your current situation? It’s hard to understand your personality from your comment. So I will speak from my own experience. Sometimes, if we’re shy, or if can’t build rapport with other people very easily, we can come across as snobby, aloof or high-and-mighty… when it’s the last thing we are. One way to break down the stand-off that ensues is to share emotion – reveal your personality so others can see what you’re really like: and give you a chance.

Lastly, I’d do this: take a stock-check of all the things you’re doing RIGHT. Take an objective look at the value you’re creating in your organization. Identify the good things. We don’t always do this enough!

Ulkauma – I am not sure if this will work for you, but I suggest you join my mailing list and connect personally if you need to discuss this further.

By: Ulkauma

Ulkauma — Wed, 16 Nov 2011 12:12:47 +0000

Hi Simon, I agree on the last 3 points as I have experienced the same. I did write and arrange for meetings to solve certain work issues because of which I went through mental stress and was unwell too. Nobody showed concern. The meeting was delayed first for 3 days and a reminder after a month, again delayed it for 2 months. This is not the first time as past 1 and a half year this is being repeatedly done. I also got negative comments in my appraisal. Still I do my work as told, cross it check it for accuracy and complete it on deadline.
But for others, there is all the time for their trivial issues and hours are spent to solve them and make them happy even at the cost of hurting me. And further more they are given undue attention. I have become the black sheep.
How do I make myself feel good and show my importance to all? Please suggest.

By: simonstapleton

simonstapleton — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:18:39 +0000

Hey Asif – yes the course starts straight away, as soon as you confirm your email address!

I hope you enjoy the course.

By: Asif Shah

Asif Shah — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:16:39 +0000

One other thing – does your course start immediately after I sign up?

By: Asif Shah

Asif Shah — Wed, 01 Apr 2009 11:14:08 +0000

Lol – great post Simon. I always wondered why my boss didn’t give me a good performance review, and stubbed cigarettes out on my arm

Seriously, I think your last point was interesting. I hadn’t thought about whether there is a different view on what the expectations are. I can think of times when this has happened though . Two years ago there was a mighty mess up when my manager and I agreed that I would fix an important problem.

Thing is I did one thing, and she expected another and had told customers her understanding of the solution, and the customer spent time and money on that assumption.

If we had been clear with each other upfront about we could have avoided it probably

I also like this post which says a lot too-
http://www.simonstapleton.com/wordpress/2008/04/28/the-%e2%80%98mystery%e2%80%99-boss-why-your-bosses-behavior-may-occasionally-look-strange/